Letting go Scribbles and bits 68

           

            They call a person who is raped a victim, but I like to think of us as survivors.  We may have had something precious taken from us, we may not ever be able to get it back; but if we stand up for ourselves so that we can prove to the person we will not be held down, we will stand strong, with our heads held high!

            It took me a while to find my strength, to be able to want to do the right thing for me and the rest of  the world, but I knew it was the right thing to do.  I fought with myself for months, trying to decide whether or not to throw the stone into his family’s life, concerned of what the ripples would bring.  Eventually, I decided that I had to share the past with his wife, I had to tell him what he did to me, I had to tell her what he helped to turn me into.

            There were many reasons for me to reach out, and only a couple for me to keep it to myself. 

Fear held me back from being able to tell her sooner, I was afraid to face it and finally take the last step I needed in order to move past that part of my life.  I was afraid what he would say, I was afraid of what he would do and I was afraid that she would not believe me.  I finally realized that I had tell the truth because there is nothing he could do to me, nothing he could say that would hurt me as much as he did that day.  I do not care what she thinks of me, I know who I was, I know who I am, and I know who I want to be in the future. 

I was afraid that if I told her, he would go after my family but I am watchful of them and try not to let them anywhere near him. 

The first reason I needed to tell his wife is if I did not tell her the truth and something were to happen to one of their children and I could have done something to prevent it I would have never been able to forgive myself.

The next reason I needed to tell her is that I had to free myself from the hatred I felt for him.  I also couldn’t help but look at her differently than the people I walked by on the street because I knew she was with him.  I thought maybe if I told her, I would be able to look at her as I did before I knew who her husband is.

The final reason I decided that I had to tell her what had happened all those years ago, and chose to relive that time, was because I would want to know if my husband had raped someone, I would want to know the truth about him so that I could decide whether or not I wanted to have my children around him. 

 

Never let fear hold you back from doing the right thing, it will only hold you back from finding your freedom.  Always do what you think is right no matter how hard it is, because it may sting for awhile, but will the support of the people who love you the most, you will get through it and you will feel better about yourself and your life.  

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Comments

  1. if_only

    Much inner strength to you !

    November 18, 2013
    1. proudmomma8

      Thank you if-only

      November 18, 2013
  2. SEC

    November 18, 2013