Here she sits, once again, in front of the computer, writing. She can hear the sound of the commercials from the television, as it plays from the next room. The room is a small add-on, built off the living room, just large enough for the large desk, and a small shelf across the side of the room with a little room on the side. There is a closet and a bookshelf that she had her husband build for her, on the adjacent wall.
She stops occasionally to look around at the light purple wall, brown trim, and the tan curtains, wondering why she had picked tan; does tan really match the room?
So why is she here all alone in this small room typing when she could go upstairs and fall asleep on the bed? Because she knows either way she will not be able to sleep upstairs, if her husband does not wake up expecting to get some love, she will spend the night tossing and turning until one of her sons wakes up.
Oh, yes the glorious joys of being a mother, as soon as she falls asleep someone or something wakes her up.
She prefers to sleep on the couch, but of course, the boys are asleep on it, and she does not want to fight for a spot or carry them upstairs. So here, she is typing. Trying to keep herself from returning to a picture of the love from her past so that she could stare at it trying to memorize his face so that she can revisit him in her dreams.
So that she could finally have him back in her life again just for a moment.
She knows that he had passed a long time ago; she still can see the mental scars from losing him. She remembers how far she had fallen the minute his stepfather had asked her if she was sitting down, and she is proud that she had pulled herself from the darkness and sorrow and become a wife and mother.
With all of this, she still cannot help but stare at his picture, and wonder what could have been with a goofy smile on her face as she tries to remember everything she possibly could of him. Even though she has problems remembering many things, she would never let him leave her memory bank.
He is always with her anyway. Whenever she is sad, she can feel him comfort her, and when she looked at that picture longing for him and laughing with joy, she once again felt that tingling on her shoulders as he wrapped his arms around her showing her that he loves her and he will never leave her side as long as she loves him.